This isn't Bangkok you know! When things don't quite go according to plan

This is currently where we are, which would appear to be in the middle of the water. You might be glad to know that it isn't correct, but it does show one of the problems that we have encountered on our trip so far. More on that in a moment.

Currently we are about 150km north of the capital of Laos, Vientiane. We stopped off in Vientiane for  a couple of days and rejoiced in the fact that as an ex French colonial capital, they haven't forgotten all about french food. It was therefore only right that we got our western food fix in the form of extremely authentic baguettes, croissants and pain aux raisin.

Not exactly French I know, but it is fresh toast with  porridge on the outside, fresh mangoes and cream. A large pitcher of maple syrup was also provided if you wanted to have instant diabetes.

Pain au chocolat and my foot.

It's more fun reading about things not going to plan, or at least some of the annoyances, so here goes with a little list.

The location of guesthouses not being accurate. 

We spoke to a couple of owners about this and apparently it's not easy to fix. The worst episode was in a place called Borabue, where we had spotted a likely place with OK reviews close to town. So a hard ride there, only to find that it simply didn't exist! That of course cues a mild bit of panic about where the heck are we going to stay. In this case we found another place with, err, perhaps not such encouraging reviews. Beggars can't be choosers thought, and off we went. As we walked towards the resort which would appear to be in the shadow of a large industrial unit and some very hard partying Thais ( did I mention that this was New Years eve?) the owner I think made some attempt to forewarn us by saying that "This isn't Bangkok you know". We made the rather large error of handing over 350Bt before fully inspecting the premises.
In we went and after about 2 minutes Sian, bless her, burst into tears. And not without cause, as the place was truly a mosquito infested dive. The following photos really don't do justice to the unpleasantness.

Damp smelling duvet and a mattress filled with the finest Thai concrete.

So where's the flush? Answer- there isn't one. Bucket on the right provided to do the job (literally)

Electrics by Mr O'Reilly. The bare wires in the shower  could have been an absolute shocker (pun intended). 

It was thus time to concoct a plan C - which was another place even further up the road. I went off to recce this place, and fortunately whilst not perfect it was a lot better than here. A quick phonecall to Sian and she joined me shortly afterwards. Gladly not an expensive lesson - 350Bt is about £8.

The lesson really is two fold- use the google satellite image to confirm that there is something that looks like a resort, but more importantly don't hand over any lolly until you are satisfied. That is now Sian's job - she goes in like a mother hen making sure that her nest is up to scratch.

Roadworks

OK, unavoidable but any semblance of road sense disappears with the loss of any white lines. Combine that with the dust that is created and you are very glad to get back onto albeit worn out road surface. The Thais have a particular ability to turn a two lane road into a four lane  dual carriageway!

Tarmac just turns to dust! Our precious hard shoulder does likewise....

Smells

Not all of the pleasant variety. Some of the lorries that pass carry with them an evil smell that just seems to linger with you for ages. It is cassava harvesting time at the moment, and part of the process is drying them out on large concrete forecourts. Not a gut wrenching smell, but not nice nonetheless. One smell that is quite pleasant is the faint candyfloss smell that accompanies the sugar cane lorries. They burn off the field before harvesting ( to get rid of any snakes etc) which slightly caramelises the canes.

Roadkill alas is another cause of stinks, and mostly dogs. This rather large constrictor we passed along the way. I bravely put my foot beside it  to provide you with some perspective as to how big it was. My veterinary knowledge came into being here as I knew that if it's head was upside down and it was not moving it was almost certainly dead. Sian told me that it might just have been playing dead.

Slow moving lorries.

These are a hazard not because of them, but because it provokes other cars into rather crazy overtaking moves, so you learn to be rather cautious around them. Emission controls here are pretty well non existent and lorries and pickups will belch black fumes at will. Face masks/buffs are pretty well obligatory either in town or when you are going up a hill and these things are struggling away.

These rather agricultural trucks make a very distinctive "put put" sound  as they approach. 

Sugar cane lorry with trailer. To be fair these will give you a wide berth.

Unexpected things on the road.

Mainly this involves other traffic. Don't expect any form of indication, nor even anyone looking at the traffic as you join the road. Just expect the unexpected....

A new Laos unexpected thing. Herds of wandering wildebeest cattle on dual carriageways

Foreign and elderly cyclists, bless them. This was at the Thai/Laos border and we were held up  at a closed gate for ages and couldn't work out why. Eventually these two turned up heading towards us at a most sedentary pace and eventually realised that they were holding up an entire international border. So they stopped here, a move which caused the guard significant consternation. So he shot off towards them to move them....

Out of the way of this train that was rather quickly approaching 

And no pressure here! No room for lorries to overtake on the "Friendship" bridge, so Sian  getting up to the hitherto unknown up a hill speed of 30Km/h with a flipping large lorry behind her.

So now we are carrying on through Laos where I have to say the people are remarkably smiley and the children a delight, waving shyly and shouting "Sawadee" ("Hello")

From a distance I was quite convinced that this was a Buddha from the Ministry of Silly Walks.  The more observant will notice that it is hand, not a foot.

Getting a little ferry across the Nam Nung river. Sian getting out the 25p fare whilst I listened to the obligatory safety announcement, worked out where the lifeboats were and what warning would be given when we were about to sink.

"I hope you are not taking my b&*%^y photograph!" Sian was muttering at this failure of route planning as we made  our way across the very narrow banks between rice paddies.

One of these pesky little blighters flew down and stung me on the chin as I very innocently wandered past this tree branch.

Not whisky I am afraid, but 2 stroke petrol for sale.

A new friend. I was however totally soaked at this point, having tried out a water filling machine that was designed for 25 litre water bottles and therefore had a considerably higher pressure than I was expecting.

And this is where we actually are - on a wee island on the reservoir. It wouldn't be fair therefore to show you the view from the little bungalow we are staying in. But I will.